BS Mom

Classroom mom, reading volunteer, PTA or team mom were never titles associated with my job description as mom. Not because I lacked a desire to volunteer in my kid's extracurriculars, but because I was always working full-time.

If you work full-time you know there just seems to be so little time in the day to work, take care of cooking/cleaning, run the kids to 1,000 activities, AND volunteer. If you have ever been a full-time teacher, there seems to be less free time. You spend your "free" time away from school grading, planing and doing things for your students. I believe this is worse when you are a high school teacher because there are SOOOOOO many after school functions that your administration and students expect you to attend. So for the last 8 years I haven't had the opportunity to be a volunteer parent.

Well I am making up for it now!

I am an official Boy Scout mom volunteer! Yeah for me... I think.

My official title is Activities Coordinator for the Troop. My unofficial job description is "Jack of all Trades." See I coordinate all the activities for the Troop. From start to finish I make sure that every month the boys have something going on. From camping trips to canoeing trips to coordinating 26 boys and 4 adults to attend a summer camp 4 hrs away...that's me! I am sooo official I have a SIGNATURE block with my name, title and the Troop logo. So who cares that I made it myself... I am still official. Now I just need to convince the Hubby that I need a uniform...which technically I do according to BSA rules, but trying explaining that as a volunteer I need to spend $80+ on a uniform.  I am also working on taking courses to become an ASM. For your Boy Scout laymen, that stands for Assistant Scout Master. Yup... me, Assistant Scout Master. BAH!

Yea it's fun, but it's not always easy. It's A LOT of work. Again I repeat: It is A LOT OF WORK! But I enjoy the feeling I get when my son knows that I am working on Troop stuff, and he wants to help. I enjoy the fact that I can get involved and dedicate so much time to it, and not have to worry about so many other things. There is a sense of accomplishment. It is a positive feeling.

Until I have to deal with other scouts parents. (playing Debbie Downer Theme Music: waaah, waaah, waaah)

Right. Not everything is happy happy, joy joy. Even in scouting.

My motto is simple: "If you don't like what and how I am doing it, take it out of my pay."

Yup. That's how I roll.

All joking aside, I am delighted to be a BS Mom...that is Boy Scout, in case you haven't really followed the post and have not understood the play on words. Yea, I'm fully aware of my bs nature, but right now I am a Boy Scout (BS) mom and that makes me PROUD!

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Justin Bieber, Chocolate and Beating off

Bear is a rare breed of a boy. Or at least I think so. He generally doesn't participate in the group teasing that is common at age 11. That's not to say the he doesn't tease because I have heard him, but it's a one-on-one ball busting sorta thing. Bear can also be hypersensitive about being teased which makes the fifth grade a bit more challenging for him. As of late, the girls have been ruthless. Teasing him from everything to his hair cut, his unibrow (which he is kinda hairy), to his last name (which we share with a popular fast food restaurant and a farmer).

I kept advising Bear to use his words. That a stinging comeback is just as powerful as flaying fists. He has engaged in neither.

Until a couple of days ago.

The story is a bit hazy to me because his story telling techniques need serious work. Either way he said he was being teased by another boy, and the boy was saying something to the effect of "This is Matt" while he rubbed his belly and patted his head. I am still not sure how this was teasing or even offensive, either way Bear wasn't happy with this taunting.

Under normal circumstances he would have walked away. Neither defending himself nor hurling an equally offensive remark back at the would-be bully. This day was different. On this day, Bear used his words. His comeback went something like this:

"Yea whatever. You think listening to Justin Bieber, eating chocolate and beating off is a party."


I want to say that I reprimanded him for using the term beating off. I would like to say that I stood there and gave him some clever speech about how it's wrong to say those things in school. But I didn't.

My jaw dropped, I gasped and then proceeded to belly laugh! I thought YES!  He is using his words! And that was a great friggin' comeback for an 11 year old!

Then the laughter stopped and the theme music playing in my head skipped.

"Do you know what beating off is?"


Exasperated sigh: "Yes Ma."


Deep sign of relief that I didn't have to explain this. Gasp!
"Did they know what beating off? Please tell me you didn't explain it."


Deeper sigh. "No. I didn't want them running to tell the teacher I was talking about."


Gasp again! Chuckle. "Thank you so much for that. I can only imagine that phone call or email." 


Then I went too far. I had to know exactly where my 11 year old was on this puberty scale, and if I had missed my opportunity to educate him. Not to mention what the next stage in our possible talks would be... I had to know something.

"Bear? You're not beating off, uh masturbating, right?"


"NO! But sometimes when I am on my X-box I make this sound (he starts slapping his hand on his forearm) and pretend I am." He chuckles! I laughed out of slight discomfort, but mostly amusement.


What do you say to that? Where do we go from here in the birds and bees conversation? Is this where I should evaluate my parenting? You know you are failing as a parent when.... your child uses the term beating off.  But dammit it still makes me chuckle.

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Terms of Affection

I like affection. I am a huggy, kissy, wanna be close to my kids kinda mom. Probably has everything to do with the fact that my mom was a "don't mess up my hair" "don't wrinkle my clothes" "I have make-up on" kinda Mom. She still is persnickety but I have learned to love her at arms length, which is what she prefers. Me....well I'm different. I want my kids to know what a good mommy hug feels like. I want them to be able to walk up and throw their arms around me and not sweat the small shit. I want them to know and have felt the safety and comfort that only Mom's arms can bring. I believe that's what they will remember the most. Not whether my make-up was still intake after some hugging. 

The Princess is taller than me. Shocker. She is easily amused at the fact that I am about an inch or two shorter. Her idea of hugging and affection is to drape my arms OVER her shoulders. This way my arms are pulled upwards over her, and I look and feel shorter than I am. Nice. :) But I like it. She still wants to hug me and curl up with her Mom and that's ok by me. She also thinks its cute to hop on my back in public like she is still 7 and not 17. 

I let her. 

Not by choice but because I usually don't see it coming and it takes everything out of me to maintain my balance. Once at the grocery store I fell over. We both rolled literally and rolled laughing. :) Good times. 

Bear on the other hand at 11, PDA is totally unacceptable, but he's still a mama's boy at heart. So we had to come up with a way to hug in public without the embarrassment of hugging your mother. Of course they came after I picked him up from school and went to hug him in public. Major faux pas for a 5th grader. I was schooled that day. I also lost cool points. 

Enter stage right: Fist Bump Hug. 

You essentially just fist bump when you feel the urge to hug in public. I like it, and because he knows its still hugging he sometimes blushes. Which is even cuter! Yesterday he fist bump hugged me in the bowling alley. He even told his dad it was a public hug. So when they fist bump hug they have to "guy" it up and the fist explodes at the end. Typical boys. If shit isn't exploding then it isn't done right.

Hey I will take these terms of affection from my kids. At some point soon for the Princess and shortly thereafter for the Bear, they won't be around full time to hug and kiss on. I only get to kiss and hug on them freely for 18 years, and I'm not wasting a minute. I'll take whatever I can get! 

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Damn it was COLD!

This past week was PERFECT spring weather! Temps were in the mid 60s, sun was shining bright and it was warm as shit. I was excited because this was Bear's first weekend campout with his Boy Scout Troop since crossing over from Webelos.

I had spent the last two weeks buying all his equipment that he would need as a new Boy Scout and making sure he was squared away for this weekend trip, especially since I wasn't going and Dad wasn't around to help with the packing list.

Then something happened on Friday. The ass dropped out of the temperature and weather and things went south. By the time I was scheduled to drop bear off at the camp site at 4:30 it was a whole 10 degrees colder than that morning.

All I can say is that Saturday was cold as crap and there was a light drizzle. Promising for retaining some heat and not being a dreadfully cold night. Uhhh nope. Skies cleared around 5 or 6pm, and it was clear skies all night. Yea, you guessed it it dropped below freezing.

I picked up Bear Sunday morning from the camp site, and he was a frozen popsicle. Mostly because he wasn't dressed correctly, but he made it through the weekend. I'm proud of him!

His "after action report" was that the sleeping bag worked well and he was warm until Sunday morning. I appreciated that because my guilt was getting the best of me. I am happy to say he had fun, he was no worse for the wear and he learned some good Boy Scout lessons. So over it was a successful campout, but DAMN it was cold!

Growing Pains

I brought home some items I purchased today that required Bear to try on pants and shoes. After making him drop trou in the middle of the living room and try on the new Scout pants, we have a strange conversation that went a little something like this:

Bear: "I think I need more boxers because if someone sees your whitey tighteys they tease you. It's just something else they can tease me about."


(Someone? Who is looking at your underwear?)


Me: "Ok bear. I will get you more boxers and no more whitey tighteys. That's not a big deal."


Bear: "Oh and can I shave my arms?"


Me: "What?!?"


Bear: "Well I have heard people talking about how hairy I am."


(Really?? Kids notice that and talk about it??)

Me: "Who is talking about it? Why do they care? I don't suggest it. It makes your arm hair grown back like this." At this point I make him rub the stubble on my legs. He laughs and is like "eeeeewww." Thanks Bear, just shaved the day before!

Bear: "Well that doesn't happen with my mustache when I shave."


Me: "When do you shave your mustache? Why?"


Bear: "Mom, I don't want to grow up faster than I have to, and I don't want to be the only 11 year old with a mustache."






Where is Dad? How do I teach him to shave? Should he even be shaving at this age? And he is using my leg razor....sheeessshhh. Just a little under 3 weeks before Dad returns and he can take over these conversations. These are growing pains that I am not fully equipped to deal with. Give me boobs, PMS and girl drama, that is my area of expertise. Not mustaches, and boxers. Although I do get mine waxed and I wear boy shorts to bed. Maybe I'm not that ill equipped.... on second thought, naaahh!

Dad get your ass home, I need you!




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The Showdown

It seems that every two or three weeks Bear and I have this showdown. It's like a Wild West kinda showdown. The sort where you hear the shutters slamming of people heading indoors and shops closing up. The tumble weed is drifting down the street, and him and I meet in the middle of road. Our eyes meet and the stare down begins. The looks we give each other are similar to the final showdown in the cemetery scene in the movie The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, theme music and all.

Ok, well maybe I exaggerate just a little, but sometimes it feels like the melodrama in my home is reaching toxic levels.

The catalyst? Boy Scouts.

Bear has been in Cub Scouts since he was in second grade. He has his Bobcat, Wolf,  Bear, Webelos badge, and he just completed his Arrow of Light. About two weeks ago he had this great cross over ceremony and now he is an official Boy Scout. AWESOME!

When we were stateside he wasn't all that interested in Scouts because the Pack wasn't very big or very active. Well here in Germany, you couldn't ask for more involved volunteers to head up Scouting. It's truly amazing! Side note: Thanks to those who volunteer! You are amazing!

Continue....

So what is the problem? One word: gaming.

I have a gamer. He loves his X-Box and I think his X-Box loves him. I'm actually willing to place money on it. He would rather game than just about anything else this world has to offer. He is in gamer groups, and he is good at it, but it takes up quite a bit time and it keeps him sedentary. Which I am not happy about. So at times he gets himself in a tizzy because I am using up precious gaming time. Hence the Boy Scouting issue. And as I mentioned in a previous post.... he was Scouting all day Saturday. So that makes TWICE this week. Stop the presses! Not TWO day?! The nerve of some people!

It had been about three weeks with no Scout conflict and we were due for a round.

He says to me tonight that he wants to quit Scouts. Really? I sigh and ask him why he wants to quit. Exasperated before the question is even out. Ready to pull my hair out one by one with a pair of pliers.

This is the condensed version of the heated conversation:

Bear: "It takes up too much of my time."


Me: "What would you be doing otherwise? Playing on your X-box?"


Bear: "Yes! What else is there to do?"


Me: "Uh Scouts?! That is why I have you in Scouts. So that you have something else that you can do!"


Does anyone else see the faulty logic in his thinking?

So after a round or two of whether or not to quit, why sticking with something is important, why he might regret it someday in the future, and blah blah blah Mommy crap, I say to him:

"If you can get your dad to approve you quitting, then I will leave it alone. " I failed to mention to him that I volunteered to chair the membership committee so that quitting really isn't a long term option. Eh, but what the hell.... let him ask his Dad.

Do you think he said anything to his dad with whom he was Facebooking? NOPE.

So off to Scouts we went.

How did it go?

He was assigned his patrol today.
He was thrilled!
He got his patrol badge today. "Mom you have got to sew this on for me." 
Thrilled some more!
There is no patrol leader yet.
He wants to be the patrol leader.
More excitement!

As we get into the car he says to me, "I'm going to try my best at the Camporee so that I can get that Patrol Leader spot!"


That is all I ever wanted. Stick with it and try your best! It's the Boy Scout motto for crying out loud!

So how long before we are back to "I wanna quit Scouts" again? Hopefully the showdowns will be fewer and further between. Especially as I start to dish out lotsa $$$ for the new uniforms and eventually the camping equipment. That would not be good. Not good at all... for Bear.

Birthday Boy's Weekend

Friday March 9th was Bear's 11th birthday, and I couldn't be prouder of the little bugger. He is growing up into a very respectful, decent, caring, albeit smart assed young man. Wait? At what age do you start referring to your son as a young man? Is he still a boy? No matter what he will always be my baby boy.

So whatever...any ways... that's not even the point of the story. Moving along....

This weekend was packed full of activities and he showed so much maturity it was astounding. On Friday night my friend Jill and I took all the kids out to dinner. (Our hubbies are deployed together.) It was a great dinner, up until the point where half-way through our meal they asked if we could move to another table so that the VERY large party behind us could have the entire section of the restaurant for themselves. HOW RUDE!

Bear was a trooper! We quickly finished our meals and took our to go boxes to another table, and these are NO small meals. They call the restaurant Big Emma's for a reason. Our compensation for our troubles was to get FREE "sorry we asked you to move and inconvenienced you" dessert. He was great about it! And the dessert was divine! It was a large mixing bowl size of ice cream: vanilla, chocolate and strawberry with whip cream on top! YUM!

On Saturday he spent the whole day doing Boy Scouts things, and getting 3 new badges. It was very long day that went from 8:30am until 5:00pm. He took it in stride and completed everything! This was the same child who only 3 weeks ago told me that he was not sure if he was going to finish Boy Scouts and if he did it was because I would make him feel guilt!

Again, I am so proud of him for finishing Cub Scouts, getting his Arrow of Light AND getting his first 3 Merit Badges!

As if the weekend hadn't held enough adventures, on Sunday I decided that I was having a Forced Family Fun day. That's the day that I plan something that ALL family members MUST participate in.... no ifs, ands or buts. Hence the FORCED part.

Well it was a bike ride. It wasn't supposed to be so long, but a broken pedal later and we were riding back to our house never having reached our intended destination. The original plan would have had us taking the train back. What can you do?

All told, we biked 18.2 miles on Sunday, and Bear never bitched ONCE! He biked the hills and the paved paths and the unpaved paths, and every time his legs burned he pushed through it. Amazing for a child that can get winded from take out the trash.

I am proud that he is learning to push through discomfort to achieve something greater: a sense of accomplishment. That means the world to me. I am proud that he is learning that he can achieve anything he sets his mind to. I am proud to say "That is my boy!"

As if that wasn't enough.... he wanted to sleep with me last night. Icing on a great weekend!

So CHEERS to a wonderful Birthday weekend where you showed maturity and growth Bear. I love you and I love the person you are growing up to be! Keep up the awesome work!