Thursday, December 6, 2012

What I really want to say Wednesdays

So a fellow blogger, The Whispering Writer, has a piece she does every Tuesday called "Hey it's ok". Once upon a time, when I had time, I would write a post that I could share with the "Hey it's ok" theme.

As of late, I find myself swamped with a new part-time job, which requires lots of take home work, i.e. grading. Add to that a Boy Scout Troop in full Christmas tree sales and getting ready for Klondike...and, and, and... I don't have the time to write on Tuesday, or any other day.

But I love my blog. More importantly I like the fact that I can get it out there and someone might read it and find humor in it.  Or empathy. Or the need for a straight jacket. It's all the same.

Despite my lack of time to write, I am not at a loss for topics and things I would LOVE to share on my lil' o' blog. What I mostly want to share is all the crap that I keep bottled up. Shit I don't say but would love to just blurt out. Inappropriate comments, rants, and just straight up truths that would blow most people away.

Oh wait! Why can't I say these things on my blog? It's my damn blog, right? And the world is ending in like 16 days according to the crazy ass Mayans, right?

So here it is. The premiere of:   "What I really want to say Wednesdays".

         When we were in school, and still now, we tell kids "There is no such thing as a stupid question." Well that is true when they are in elementary school, and it might be true sometimes on occasion in middle school, but high school... different story. There are stupid questions. When they ask those dumb questions I just want to say: "Did you really just ask that? Seriously?" Today's example: "Do I have to take notes?" What I actually said: "I would advise you taking notes unless you have a really good memory, and that is a whole lot to remember." What I wanted to say: "Of course you should take notes! How the hell else are you going to study? It's not like you bring the book home with you." See that was a stupid question.

         I volunteer for my son's scout troop. I coordinate their activities and collect money and such. It isn't a hard job, it's just incredibly time consuming. Last night I had a parent who wanted a "back briefing" of all that he had missed. I asked if he was getting my emails, which I send out with all the information. He answered: "I have pages and pages of emails that I have not had a chance to check. So I will probably not get around to looking at those." Ummm... ok. I asked if there was a work email that I could send it to that might be easier to check on a more regular basis. Answer: "No. I don't want to get my roles confused." Da' Fuck? Really? Ok. So I asked if he or his scout were connected to our Facebook page. Answer: "Not really a Facebook guy, and the boys don't get on often enough because they are usually in trouble for something."  What I said at this point was:"Ok well let's see how we can get you up to speed." What I wanted to say was: "Hello asshole! I have offered at least 4 different modes of communication, all of which you turned down! What part of 'this is a volunteer position' is difficult to process? Maybe I can send up smoke signals. How does that sound?" Didn't say it. Instead I just sat there and answered the 50 fucktillion questions he had. Did I forget to mention he wasn't the only parent who needed something that night? Fucktard.  *sigh*

       To all the Army officers who have no idea how to truly lead and make what should be an easy existence in a very small elite Army unit, I living hell, my thought for you is YOU SUCK! I hate playing the grip and grin game of niceties. I hate having to pretend I like you and that you don't make my husband's evening a rant session about whatta douche you are. I hate the fact that you make people wish they were stationed in Iraq instead of being here. I just want to scream: "You're an ASSHOLE! And I hope Santa shits down your chimney this year!" Instead I am relegated to "Hello Sir. How's it going? Oh Merry Christmas to you too, sir! So lovely to see you again." BARF!

Yea.... that is What I really want to say.....

Thank You Baby Jesus for giving me a head-mouth filter that works when I need it to. Amen.
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