Saturday, July 16, 2011

The Life of a Nomad

OK, so who am I kidding? A nomad? BAHA! Gypsy? Too pejorative. Homeless. Yes! That's more like it. Homeless. The mere sound of it brings a reaction of slightly hysterical laughter which thinly veils the flood of tears which beg for release. Yea yea, you hear the melodrama in that sentence, well it is true. I am on the verge of tears. Change that I can't control often does that to me. Tears and melodrama. Ok ok... I will get to the point. See I have been without a place to call "home" since June 29th, when the the moving company hauled off the last contents of my home. Since then I have been on an East Coast Tour, without the fan fare and groupies. We, and I say we, because at the time Harvey and Alex (hubby & step-son) were with me, drove to Savannah, GA. In the few days we spent here together, we had a blast. We toured Savannah by day and night, drank at the favorite spots, ate delicious food and saw a great Fourth of July fireworks display. Then Harvey took off to Germany and Alex went back to his mom. Matt (my youngest) and I took off to South Florida. Did I forget to mention my grandfather has been in and out of the hospital since mid June? Yes, that too. We stayed in Ft. Lauderdale visiting with my grandparents for a few days, and then Matt and I hit the trail again,  taking off to Key West. Another adventure... best saved for its own blog. Matt and I stayed there for about 5 days, then returned to Ft. Lauderdale. Visited with the old folks again, and stayed there for 3 days. Then Mom, Matt and I came back to Georgia. (Mom was already in Ft. Lauderdale.) Ok, so what's the problem you ask? Has it been fun? Yes. Have I had a roof over my head? Yes. Then what? I miss the idea of knowing that if I wanted to go home, there would be such a place that I could go home to. I don't have that! My home in Maryland has a few odds and ends that I need to dispatch from there, and my other suitcase is at a friend's in PA. My husband is in Germany, and he is living out of temporary military housing, and until tomorrow at 11am, my daughter is with her father. I, we, have no anchor at the moment, and I am feeling every bit of that lost at sea desperation. I'm trying to keep my wits so that I don't spread that frustration to the kids, but I am finding harder and harder to do. The bright spot you ask? Well Harvey is looking for a home for us and with any luck he may have one before the kids and I arrive in Germany on July 26th. Until then, home is where the heart is right? That isn't helpful either as my kids are scattered and my husband is in Germany. What I have left is hope. Hope that this move and these changes will be good and things will work themselves out, and I guess that will have to do.

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