Saturday, April 21, 2012

Not so flexible

This post has taken me 10 days to finish. Here it goes:

Ok so Hubby has returned from Afghanistan. Life is good right? Well sorta. I'm thrilled he is home! Actually more than thrilled. It feels right for him to be home. To have him to converse with and to hang out with.

Love it. Wouldn't trade it.

Then what is the but you hear in this post? My routine.

It's really pretty simple. I wake up and get the kids off to school. Really I just get the 11 year old off to school because at 17 The Princess can handle this small task. Then I come home and work out. After I work out it's fair game. Schedule is pretty open for errands, house cleaning, laundry, whatever pretty much needs to get done.

It works for me and I'm happy for the most part. It also allows me quite a bit of freedom since I work 3-4 nights a week at a local pub.

Since hubby has been back I feel like I can't get my schedule back together. There seems to be a monkey wrench in my daily routine. I don't want to say its him but I think his presence is throwing me off.

The worst part is that I am raving bitch when my schedule gets hijacked and especially if I miss my workouts. I enjoy the pain and the sweat but more importantly I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that I have once I am done with a really intense workout. I feel like I can do anything.

These past few weeks with him home have been brutal on scheduling. I really am trying not to take it out on him but we are having a serious adjustment period. Funny thing is that this is the SHORTEST deployment we have EVER had in our military life together. So what is the issue?

One word: ME.

I have become so much less flexible. I am not sure why, but I am. I think its because I don't have the routine of a full-time job and therefore I do have more time on my hands. But that should make me more flexible and it isn't. The whole thing is getting frustrating.

The worst part is that he is trying. He is trying to reintegrate himself into our schedule and he is trying to take up some slack. He has been great at fixing dinner, helping with laundry and this Friday he even helped me clean.

So yea, the problem is me. Now for the solution. I need to go with the flow more and stop being so rigid. I am trying that on for size. I didn't work out today, and I didn't get all stark raving mad on him. We sat and watched movies and I ate and slept and we had a nice rainy day. Completely unscheduled and out of routine. And I did well.

Thanks Hubby for being a patient human being. I know I wouldn't deal with my own shit, so thanks for putting up with it. :)

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