The Backwards Slide

I believe every parent reaches a point in their teen's life where they stop and say: "Wow, my teen seems like they are really maturing and growing up to be such well rounded young adult." BAH! Looking back I think that was like at FOURteen. *sigh*

Now at almost SEVENteen, I think the Princess is doing that backwards slide tumble swan dive into immaturity hot mess status. The last two weeks have been a true trying of my patience. Soon I will be doing a face dive into alcohol, chocolate, and pills. And not necessarily in that order. LOL

Two weeks ago she was caught lying to me and to a friend's parents. She received the monumental ass chewing and subsequent grounding. WAH WAH WAH is probably what she heard. I know I sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher with a few choice obscenities sprinkled in there.

This week it was what I have dubbed as creative storytelling. There have been two this week actually. You see she didn't outright lie but she allowed me to believe one version of the truth and never corrected me on the reality of the situation. She wound up missing two class periods because of her escapades. She was trying to be cunning in allowing me to believe she was somewhere she was not... so when that attendance email about "did you know your child was absent for one or more periods on this day?" graced my inbox, I practiced what I preach and told the attendance lady at the high school that she was truant and not where she was supposed to be. So that cost her detention this afternoon. How did I find out about the lie you ask? The location she was supposed to be at contacted my husband in AFGHANISTAN because she wasn't there. NICE! Nothing screams epic mom failure like finding out from your deployed husband that your daughter was lying. Uggh... did I mention she gets in the car after detention this afternoon to inform me that she has detention again next week because she was talking about Chemistry during detention? RIIIGGHHT! That's why I you posted a picture of you and your friends in detention. That deserves a monumental WTF? ¡La Gente esta muy loca!

That should have been enough right? Not for my Princess who's as stubborn as an ass. Speaking of asses...is it too late to start beating her ass? (I use the term "beat" loosely for those who might think me capable.)

Moving along, which leads to the next issue this week.

This morning she leaves $40 on the computer for me, and she tells me this as she is leaving the house. I ask: "What's it for? Your cell phone bill?" (She is supposed to pay her own cell phone bill. Check out this post for more details. Bahaha!)

She responds: "Sure. Whatever. I had it and so you can put it towards that." Do you think she bothered to tell me that she charged $40 on my credit card for iTunes music? NOPE. I guess I know now what that 40 bucks was for. Sheesh. We won't even get into the cell phone bill issues. Suffice to say that last month the bill was well over $300.

I'm not sure what kind of crisis she is going through but I think the idea of being an adult is really scary to her. She has become more irresponsible the older she gets. Oh hell... the prospect of her going out into the adult world in a little over a year scares the shit out of me. What if she isn't prepared? Clearly. What if she can't make it? She seems to have forgotten how to do household chores and all the other things that she did around the house just a few months ago.

All the what ifs and I keep asking myself, what the hell am I doing? I feel like I am a new mom all over again. I feel like I should be reading one of the What to Expect Books. Do they make them for 204 month olds?

She has no clue what college she wants to attend. She has no idea what she wants to go to college for. She hasn't taken the SATs and she isn't even looking at colleges to determine which ones we will be visiting this summer. Yea.... who is this child? Where is my little girl? Oh yea....she is maturing into a well rounded adult.

Just forward the Parent of the Year award here to Germany. I might need it to knock some sense into her soon.





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