Color Me Happy: Happiest 5k on the Planet

Running is something that I have always wanted to be good at, be into, and enjoy. Well let's just say what I want and what I get aren't always jiving! 

I started running in earnest about a year and half ago. It started while we were stationed in Germany. Maybe it was because my great friend Jilly motivated me or maybe it was the thought of us doing a triathlon together that got me motivated, who knows. My biggest hurdle with the whole running thing has always been my damned asthma. At any rate, I started running, and enjoying it- for the most part. 

While we never did our triathlon, but I did complete a half-marathon in September 2013. The running sucked and it was exhausting, but that feeling coming across the finish line was exhilarating and unlike anything I had experienced before. It was phenomenal! 

So fast forward 7 months, with a PCS move (Permanent Change of Station for the non military folk on here), sprinkle in the stress of buying a new home and cyber schooling my 13 year old son, add on a couple of 10 pounds to all the wrong places, and what you have is a recipe for disaster. I need something to motivate me and fast!

Savannah is a city of perpetual activities for all walks of life. If you can't find something to do in Savannah you aren't looking hard enough. There is always something going on in this quaint but busy little town, and the weekend of May 17th was this year's Color Run.

They call it The Happiest 5k on the Planet, and it really is the happiest running experience- ever! Here are some reasons it's the happiest 5k, and some tips to keep you happy on race day! 

Bag and headband!

1. Cool Swag is included. Admittedly this is only my second race ever, so I'm drawing on limited experience. However, I know cool swag when I come across cool FREE swag! When we went to pick up our race day packets the day before the race and what I received truly shocked me! We had a Color Run t-shirt, rainbow colored Color Run head bands, a smaller Color Run face tattoo, and a larger HAPPY tattoo. All of this came a pretty cool colorful Color Run bag- heck they even included safety pins to attached the running bib to our shirts! Oh and did I mention that it was all FREE!

2.  Come one, come all. The attitude of the 5k is so un-racelike that you really don't feel like you are in a competition at all. The race is not timed so you never feel likes it's a death match to the end. Quite the contrary, you are truly there for the whole experience of it and the fun day! There were families with younger children walking, many with strollers even. There were people of all shapes and varying degrees of fitness. It was very inviting for everyone, even those looking to time their 5k.

Finish line dash

3. You end the race as colorful as you want to be. Indeed when you go through the color zones you can avoid getting doused with color by simply running through them quickly. There were plenty of people who didn't look the least bit "colored" when they finished the race. The amount of color you get at each zone is really dependent on how long you take going through and how much actual color you want. The first two zones were just ran through fairly quickly and had minimal colors on us. The last zones we stopped and walked through and allowed ourselves to get thoroughly colored. We even stopped, dropped and rolled in it! You have more control than you think when going through the color zones. 

4. There are tons of pictures being taken.  If you want to pose for the camera, fear not, there are plenty of photographers snapping your candids while you run amuck in the colored zones. So smile big for the camera and strike a pose! Oh and the pictures were ready to view within three days post race, which was a great turn around. 

Race day pictures

5. Pre and post race celebrations were a blast! During the pre-race workout up there was plenty of music, cheering, and just general excitement. On their stage they had several Zumba instructors conducting classes. So we joined in and got ourselves stretched and ready for the race. It was a great way to get the blood flowing and the music was jamming! Considering our race started at 8:00am and we got to the park at 6:45, I'm glad they had someone there to help get me warmed up. Now during the post race celebration, there was music and hoopla, and most of all there was color! Tons of it. In little bags they handed you when you came across the finish line. It was really too much fun! 

As with any non-standard race, there are tips and pointers that can help you get through the race and feel better at the end. Here is what I learned:

1. Take a bottle of water with you on the race, if possible. There were times when we just needed to swish with it to get some of the color dust out of our mouth (or teeth) and the water came in handy. Remember you can control the amount of color you get on you, and we were rolling in it. So we did get some in our mouth. 

2. Make sure to control your breathing. As an asthmatic I was nervous about the "dust" particles hindering my breathing and affecting my running. So for the first two color stations I was nervous about it. I used a bandana one of our teammates had to cover my nose and mouth to minimize the amount of color dust I was breathing in. The fact is that it wasn't that bad after you got used to the feeling. However, if you do suffer from any kind of breathing condition I would use caution and take a bandana or something to cover your nose and mouth. While I did make it through the run and the post celebration color-fest, I was a bit tight-chested later that evening and in through the next day. I felt wheezy so I would exercise caution if you are asthmatic. Definitely something I will consider on our next one. 

3. Your choice of clothing is important! All the color WILL NOT come out of your clothes! Since they provided a T-shirt, I wore the one I got with my swag bag. I did put on a tank top underneath- mostly because I sweat quite a bit and I didn't want the color sticking to my body. It was great because it provided a barrier between my sweat and the color, making it so much easier when it was time to bathe. The areas where sweat pooled the most, got colored the most- like the backs of my knees, crooks of my arms and the back of my neck. The crooks of my arms were a weird purple and blue! Hah! In addition to having on an undershirt or tank top, make sure you wear that rainbow headband they give you. It's hot here in Savannah, but thankfully it wasn't terrible on the race day. Despite the cooler temps, I still was sweating like a pig! The headband really helps to keep the sweat out of your eyes, which in turn keeps the color at bay. Always a plus!

4. Ears, hands and feet will stay colored for days. Despite many attempts to remove all the color from these areas, it was just impossible to do. My hands and ears had blue color on/in them for many days later. My daughter's feet were blue and my son couldn't manage to get the blue color off his neck. While most of the color will fade and disappear, just be prepared if you have the huge meeting with the big boss that following week that you don't walk in looking like you loved on a smurf. 

5. Protect your belongings. There will be places you don't want this color to get into, so make sure you protect your belongings. For starters, put your cell phone or camera in a zip loc bag or be prepared to have a colored dusted phone. My phone case is pink and by the end of the run it was dirty and looked awful. When we were done with the run we walked around and went to lunch, giving us plenty of time to "lose" quite a bit of color- remember it's a corn starch dust so it will brush off and shake out if you try. That being said remember that you will have to get back into your car eventually and this is where a sheet or towel come in handy. We didn't change clothes but that could be an option to- but you could get other clothes colored. 

6. Wash with like colors.  With 4 Color Run participants it was easy to wash all of our colored clothing together. They provided a Shout color sheet in our swag bag and I used it to help collect the loose color in the wash. Almost everything came out clean, except my tank top which still has remnants of the colors. To be safe, just make sure you don't put other laundry in with your Color Run clothes.  

It was a great family experience. The kids loved it and so did we! We had fun and would recommend it to anyone looking for a little fitness and fun rolled into one. It is a truly Happy experience, and one I know we will do again!

Family fun

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Just wanted to generate some traffic for my new Travel Blog... go check it out. Gonna post all my travel shit there, and here, and really anywhere it will get traffic. 

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Living through Death

There are all sorts of life-changing events. There is high school graduation, and the moment when you walk across the stage and realize you can conquer the world.

There is the moment you realize the man you are dating is "the one" and you say a resounding YES! to his popped question. 

Of course the day you actually walk down the aisle and say I do, is only shadowed by the day you both realize you are expecting your first child. Words can not express the changes you undergo physically, mentally and spiritually as a result of the birth of your baby. How the miracle of a new life alters yours forever. 

There are changes that come from realizing "the one" wasn't and now you are among the ranks of the divorced single parents. Talk about realizing you don't know shit from shinola. That is life altering.

There are the changes that come with achieving your degrees, having more children, finally finding the one, marrying him and creating a life. Not one you ever thought you would have. 

There are events in a lifetime that alter so absolutely and completely that we are never, ever the same. Death is one of these events. 

Instinctively we know that death changes everything through the absence of someone, and the permanence of it's finality. These changes are obvious in how the living go on about their lives. But it's the little changes that strike me so much more than the obvious ones. 

I know you are probably thinking "where is this coming from and where is she going with this?" I promise I have a point. Just bear with my train of thought.

Three weeks ago my uncle, his wife (my aunt), my cousin and my grandmother arrived here in Deutschland. This was the first time I had seen my grandmother since my grandfather passed last July. It's coming up on a year since his death and the changes I have noticed in her, while subtle, speak volumes of the absence of my grandfather. 

Mind you she is 84 and spent the better part of 64 years with him, but his absence and the reality of death has really changed her, and that saddens me. 

She seems less independent now. Less able to make simple decisions about what to eat, and what to drink. 

She seems unable or unwilling to be alone. Being left in a room alone makes her call out for someone to come sit in the room with her. 

She speaks about times past when she travelled and how much she was able to do. 

She speaks with longing about times with my grandfather and things they did together. 

She still has a memory like an elephant and maybe that makes things harder. I don't know for sure. However she can recall with accuracy all sorts of past events and comments and weird instances in which she visited me at different duty stations. She can even remember details about the homes I have lived in. Things that I can't even remember! But then again, she always had a great memory... so much has changed there. 

She has more aches and pains, and visits the doctor more frequently. I think she worries more about her health. 

She seems more needy now. Perhaps it isn't my grandfather's death and just more the fact that she is getting older. 

She seems displaced and she complained that when her apartment was sold many things were "lost". She complained that people get rid of things or took things. She seemed very agitated and upset that her things were now "missing." I can't imagine being self-sufficient for years and now having to live with your son. 

Perhaps I am the one who is looking for changes since his death. Perhaps I'm just scared that the older she gets, the closer to losing her I get. That is a hard reality to face. 

I know someday I will have to deal with her passing. But for now I am trying to deal with her getting older and frailer. That is scary enough. I just wish there was a way to ease her loneliness and pain at losing her life's companion.

I wish I could ease her pain at living through his death.

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Good Times Germany

Yesterday's weather was spectacular! It was warm, with clear skies, cool breezes and a BRIGHT sunny day. You couldn't have dialed in better weather if you had contacted Mother Nature herself. What does one do on awesome days like that? We went bike riding!

Yup, we loaded up and hit the trails with another couple. 

After the crisis of two low tires was averted we met with friends and rode our asses off. We went through the woods, over the rocks, around the bends and under the Autobahn. We finally stopped to rest our weary sore legs asses. We decided to have lunch at Salvatore's in Landstuhl, an authentic Italian restaurant. The restaurant is perfectly situated off the main road, in the woods and they have great food and service. Salad, pasta, bread and two weißwein schorle later we found ourselves being introduced to a game of bocce. We paired up, Girls vs. Boys and commenced to beating them down! 

ehow.com

It's not a difficult game, and with competitors like ourselves it quickly became a battle of the wits and not of the balls. We had a great time! We had more wine. We also forget we had bikes. Oops! And you gotta be careful because you can get a DWI while on a bike. But I think it becomes BWI..or maybe that's an airport. I dunno. Either way my friend Jilly-Bean was feeling a little like this guy. :) 

cityweekly.net

Yes, we had to ride those suckers home after food and libations. Did I mention we were still like 10-12 miles from the cars? Uh huh, let the suck begin.

Yup. We made it. Tired, sore and generally just worn out, but we made it. 

And it was a great day that turned into a great night of pubbing, dancing and more drinking. 

Today I am hung over, tired and MORE sore. Hubby says I danced for about 3 hours last night. I don't recall but then again Jameson was my go to guy last night, so anything is possible. Oh we took cabs this time! ;)

Yesterday is a perfect example of what our European life has become: bike riding the German trails, eating great Italian food, pubs, and good friends. 

I gotta say it's a good life, a damned good life. 

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Facebook Official

First and foremost, Happy Mother's Day! I hope you had an awesome day in whichever awesomeness you chose for yourself.

It was a special day and I had an amazing day with my awesome children. My biggest reward today was that they actually wanted to be with me and they enjoyed my company. This is a huge accomplishment when you have a 17 year old and an 11 year old. I am not always as interesting as the boyfriend or as eventful as the social calendar, and I am definitely not as much fun as the XBox. ;)

So when they are happy to do a late lunch and movie with Momma, I am tickled! (Noticing hubby was absent from all of this? He is stateside TDY.)

It was a great time. We ate lunch at Mac Grill, went and saw a movie, and it was topped off by some great girl time, on a hilltop, watching the flowers and windmills in the setting sun.

Couldn't ask for more, right?

Well I got more.

Here is what my lovely daughter posted on her facebook early this morning:

Then after our lovely day together and then our mountain picture session. She posted this:

If I ever wonder whether or not I'm doing a good job, I need look no further than facebook. Because its facebook official, I'm a good mom! 

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Butterfly Kisses

Monday, April 10, 1995 was a glorious day. I'd been having contractions and in labor (on and off) for the last week, and I was finally admitted to Blanchfield Army Community Hospital (BACH). 11:00 am right on the nose she was born: Princess KNB. She was a pill from the onset! A bought of apnea, a subarachnoid hemorrhage, 24 hours in critical care in the NICU, a shaved head, and a freaked out 20 year old mom we finally got to take her home 4 days later on a beautiful spring morning.

I could write about all the memories I have about this wonderful little girl, and this post would be pages long, both happy and sad. She has been a roller coaster ride of emotions, and I am sure that won't change.

I will say this: I love her just as much now as I did the day I first laid eyes on her.

She is a constant source of happiness and consternation in my life, and I am grateful for that. She has taught me how to be a parent, how to be an adult, how to make sacrifices, and how to experience the real pleasures in life. I am proud that she has turned out to be a good, loving person who cares about others but isn't a doormat. She is smart, articulate, witty and so much damn fun to around. She isn't perfect but that is what makes her awesome! She is a work in progress, and the sad part is that my role in her life is slowing down.

As she enters adulthood she will learn to carve her own way and make her own decisions. I simply hope she knows how much I love her and how important she will always be to me. I hope she always knows that my home and my arms will always be open for whatever she may need them for. For everything I hope I have taught her, she has taught me more.

This last year will be difficult as I learn to let go and love her the way a parent loves a grown child. I am not sure how to do that though. But I do know that the time went by way to fast and if I had to do it over, I wouldn't change a thing.

I love you baby girl.

Here is what I hope she takes away from her first 17 years.

   

She had loving parents since she was born. She was conceived in love. 

She's had everything she needed and more. 

She has known the love of good friend

She always has fun in everything she does. 

She will always have me close to her side. 

She has known the love of two Dads.
She has been fortunate never to remember a time where she was without one or the other. 

She has known the love of two brothers.

She has been taught to treat herself with respect and dignity so that others will do the same. 

She has always had her family by her side.

She has traveled the world and seen what it can offer. 

I just hope she realizes how much we love her and how we will ALWAYS be here for her. 

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Terms of Affection

I like affection. I am a huggy, kissy, wanna be close to my kids kinda mom. Probably has everything to do with the fact that my mom was a "don't mess up my hair" "don't wrinkle my clothes" "I have make-up on" kinda Mom. She still is persnickety but I have learned to love her at arms length, which is what she prefers. Me....well I'm different. I want my kids to know what a good mommy hug feels like. I want them to be able to walk up and throw their arms around me and not sweat the small shit. I want them to know and have felt the safety and comfort that only Mom's arms can bring. I believe that's what they will remember the most. Not whether my make-up was still intake after some hugging. 

The Princess is taller than me. Shocker. She is easily amused at the fact that I am about an inch or two shorter. Her idea of hugging and affection is to drape my arms OVER her shoulders. This way my arms are pulled upwards over her, and I look and feel shorter than I am. Nice. :) But I like it. She still wants to hug me and curl up with her Mom and that's ok by me. She also thinks its cute to hop on my back in public like she is still 7 and not 17. 

I let her. 

Not by choice but because I usually don't see it coming and it takes everything out of me to maintain my balance. Once at the grocery store I fell over. We both rolled literally and rolled laughing. :) Good times. 

Bear on the other hand at 11, PDA is totally unacceptable, but he's still a mama's boy at heart. So we had to come up with a way to hug in public without the embarrassment of hugging your mother. Of course they came after I picked him up from school and went to hug him in public. Major faux pas for a 5th grader. I was schooled that day. I also lost cool points. 

Enter stage right: Fist Bump Hug. 

You essentially just fist bump when you feel the urge to hug in public. I like it, and because he knows its still hugging he sometimes blushes. Which is even cuter! Yesterday he fist bump hugged me in the bowling alley. He even told his dad it was a public hug. So when they fist bump hug they have to "guy" it up and the fist explodes at the end. Typical boys. If shit isn't exploding then it isn't done right.

Hey I will take these terms of affection from my kids. At some point soon for the Princess and shortly thereafter for the Bear, they won't be around full time to hug and kiss on. I only get to kiss and hug on them freely for 18 years, and I'm not wasting a minute. I'll take whatever I can get! 

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Moments in Time

I love to take pictures. I have an awesome app on my iPhone that helps me feel completely professional in my picture taking abilities, and I have a regular camera that reminds me that I am not. Either way, I love taking photos. Here are some that I recently took in Edinburgh, Scotland.

Arrival at the Airport

Take from one of the double decker public transportation buses. 

The Royal Theatre which I think was a restaurant 

Beautiful lighthouse in Leith Harbor

Same lighthouse

St. Giles Kirk (Church)

View of city from Edinburgh Castle

Birthday Boy's Weekend

Friday March 9th was Bear's 11th birthday, and I couldn't be prouder of the little bugger. He is growing up into a very respectful, decent, caring, albeit smart assed young man. Wait? At what age do you start referring to your son as a young man? Is he still a boy? No matter what he will always be my baby boy.

So whatever...any ways... that's not even the point of the story. Moving along....

This weekend was packed full of activities and he showed so much maturity it was astounding. On Friday night my friend Jill and I took all the kids out to dinner. (Our hubbies are deployed together.) It was a great dinner, up until the point where half-way through our meal they asked if we could move to another table so that the VERY large party behind us could have the entire section of the restaurant for themselves. HOW RUDE!

Bear was a trooper! We quickly finished our meals and took our to go boxes to another table, and these are NO small meals. They call the restaurant Big Emma's for a reason. Our compensation for our troubles was to get FREE "sorry we asked you to move and inconvenienced you" dessert. He was great about it! And the dessert was divine! It was a large mixing bowl size of ice cream: vanilla, chocolate and strawberry with whip cream on top! YUM!

On Saturday he spent the whole day doing Boy Scouts things, and getting 3 new badges. It was very long day that went from 8:30am until 5:00pm. He took it in stride and completed everything! This was the same child who only 3 weeks ago told me that he was not sure if he was going to finish Boy Scouts and if he did it was because I would make him feel guilt!

Again, I am so proud of him for finishing Cub Scouts, getting his Arrow of Light AND getting his first 3 Merit Badges!

As if the weekend hadn't held enough adventures, on Sunday I decided that I was having a Forced Family Fun day. That's the day that I plan something that ALL family members MUST participate in.... no ifs, ands or buts. Hence the FORCED part.

Well it was a bike ride. It wasn't supposed to be so long, but a broken pedal later and we were riding back to our house never having reached our intended destination. The original plan would have had us taking the train back. What can you do?

All told, we biked 18.2 miles on Sunday, and Bear never bitched ONCE! He biked the hills and the paved paths and the unpaved paths, and every time his legs burned he pushed through it. Amazing for a child that can get winded from take out the trash.

I am proud that he is learning to push through discomfort to achieve something greater: a sense of accomplishment. That means the world to me. I am proud that he is learning that he can achieve anything he sets his mind to. I am proud to say "That is my boy!"

As if that wasn't enough.... he wanted to sleep with me last night. Icing on a great weekend!

So CHEERS to a wonderful Birthday weekend where you showed maturity and growth Bear. I love you and I love the person you are growing up to be! Keep up the awesome work!

Crazy Kinda Love

My poor husband always seems to be on the receiving end of my moods. I don't mean to be a hormonal crazy bitch, but sometimes I am. Couple that with a wee bit too much time on my hands, graduate work that I can't seem to get done, and well I can have my moments.

The situation is actually made worse by the fact that he is deployed and HE has way too much time on his hands.

Now this blogging thing is new to us. While I started my blog awhile ago, I have only just started blogging more regularly. Did I mention I had time on my hands? Any who, sometimes I blog about my our children. Sometimes I blog about random things, and sometimes Hubby gets tossed into the shuffle of my blogging. How could he not? If the blog is about my life and what is important to me, then he is a HUGE part of that.

The problem is that sometimes he misinterprets a comment here, or a question there as dig against our marriage or relationship. That is the farthest from the truth.

The blog and posts are just what I am thinking. Like diarrhea of the mouth and brain. It's like having a window inside my head. He always says if he knew what women thought he would be a rich man. (He also says "Take away reasoning, accountability and logic and you have a woman." I don't much care for that little comment.)

Either way I wanted to take a moment to reassure my hubby, here publicly and for the world to read, that I adore him.

Hey Hubby- I love you. I love us. I'm not here because you were the one person I could live with, it was because you were the one person I couldn't live without.

And to prove that, I am going to list some great things about him and our relationship. So the next time I have a random thought that makes you (hubby) feel weird or insecure, stop and re-read this post. Then put your big boy boots on and get the sand outta your mangina because I fucking love you. :)

Here's to Hubby:

• Sparks flew the first night we met, and they have been there ever since. 
• You allowed me to "test" you to make sure you were suitable for me & my daughter before I introduced you into her life. 
• You have treated her like your own from the moment you met her, and she loves you and you are her Dad. 
• You are the worst sore loser ever, and together we are a competitive hot mess. Remember Phase 10? One word: ugly.
• You pushed through my insecurities and abandonment issues, and allowed me to open up and trust you at my pace. That wasn't easy, and I know that. 
• You are a good Dad. 
• You make me laugh and you get my humor. 
• You can have an intelligent conversation with anyone, about almost any topic. 
• You are ambitious and have a life plan. Thankfully that includes me. 
• You would rather sit and watch movies with us, than be out with friends. 
• You are loyal to a fault. 
• You have honor, and a sense of duty and that is hard to come by these days. 
• You don't remember anyone's name and I have to be your "PR rep."
• You try to be strong, but really you are a big softy. 
• You are a patient and considerate lover. 
• You pushed through those awful months when the D word was trumped. 
• You know which ovary is cycling and which is my Angry Ovary and which is Cry-Baby Ovary. 
• You can drink beer like a fish, but I can't. I can drink liquor like it's water, but you can't. 
• You give good Party! Pajamas and snow. Beer & Brats. Fourth of July. Just to name a few. 
• You love my family, and that can't be easy. 
• You love your family, and that is never easy.
• You make me proud by being the best soldier you can be, every single day of the last 21 years of service. That takes commitment. 
• You hate Sundays, and its the only time I get to be strong for you. 
• You have moved us many times, and every move is a new adventure. 
• You are a generous man. 
• You laugh with me, and at me. I laugh with you and at you. 
• You are the best damned griller I know, and anyone that has been to our house for summer picnics would agree. 
• You love me with all your heart and I feel that with all my heart. 
• You want to grow old with me even though you know my mom. 
• You're still the one. 

Sleeping with Children

Hot Mess Mom recently posted a sweet and tender bit about sleeping with her boys. It was something that hit close to home, especially last night.

As a military wife/mom, Dad has a tendency to be away quite a bit, and has been throughout the last 13 years. So it is not uncommon when Dad's away the children fight for position in the bed next to mom. During one deployment I had to create a rotating schedule so there wasn't a huge argument at bedtime about who gets to sleep with mom. It got so bad, I would schedule nights alone so that I could get some rest from the tossing, kicking and movement of little ones in the bed with me.

Except this deployment has been different.

My daughter is going to be 17 in April, and my son will be 11 next Friday. Princess only occasionally likes to sleep with me, and I usually have to ask first:

"Hey ya wanna sleep with Mom tonight?"
"Sure." (Why I banned the word sure.)

She is on her own sheet of music. She stays up late doing homework, and has the iPhone glued to her hand whether it is on music, texting or the latest and greatest, Voxer.  I'm just grateful she still confides in me and wants to occasionally hang out with Mom. I will take what I can get!

Bear, who is usually the one under the covers before anyone can take his place, hasn't really wanted to sleep with me either. It seems I can't bribe them anymore either. Staying up late was always a great bribe!

So last night (Wed.), Bear asked if he could sleep with me tonight (Thurs). I said sure, but since I had to work that it might not be a good idea. I would get in late and then wake him when I was shuffling about the room. So we made a date for Friday night.

As I was standing there thinking about the exchange, I asked him: "What prompted this? Usually I have to beg you kids to sleep with me nowadays." His response, while candid, hurt my heart a bit, he said: "Mom we are getting older. We are looking for our independence."

All that wisdom from an 11 year old.

I know they're looking for their own independence. I also know that these are the easiest days they will experience in their lives, and I want it to last. I want him to cuddle with me, and give me hugs and kisses. I love the evenings when he wants to watch a movie with me. Some of the best moments have been watching the Sand Lot, Stand By Me and Second Hand Lions with him at my side, all cuddled on the recliner, sharing a blanket.

I want to be able to walk up to my teenager and just give her a hug without her asking what's wrong or in the kid voice she does "why you touchy me?"

I want the days where my lap was big enough to fit them. Now she towers over me and he is not far behind, and I am 5'5 1/2". (Yes that half inch makes a difference to me.)

Now she finds it comical to jump into my arms like she did when she was two and watching mom fall or struggle not to. Her latest trick is to jump on my back when I am crouched down. And it doesn't matter where we are. She did it in the commissary embarrassingly enough, and I toppled and bounced back up like a Weeble-Wooble.

Right or wrong I have lived the last 17 years for my children. My entire world is focused on them. What will happen when Princess graduates next summer? What will happen when Bear leaves the nest? Will I be happy to enjoy my hubby? I believe I will... Or will I be that Mom that can't leg go, and struggles to cut the umbilical cord?

Well the good thing is he has already told me that he plans on being a "stay at home son." For right now, I kinda like that idea.


Anyone else struggling with the impending empty nest? How do you cope with the changing maturity of your children?


*I like it when you read....love it when you comment!*

Cardio Blast

Yup that is the name of the two hour session I did today! It was great! We did cardio-kickboxing and then we started on the cardio-core workout. However that instructor was a bit less organized than our kickboxing instructor, and so we ditched the class and went to the track. We ran/walked a little over 1 mile. I can feel it in my legs now as I sit here and type away. I am going to be sore as hell tomorrow. Actually I might be sore as hell tonight! But I wouldn't have it any other way.

My only problem is that I can't see any results. I mean my jeans are fitting better and my muffin top is slowing un-puffing itself. I look more like a mini-muffin than one of the full sized ones, but still it's really hard to tell.  I couldn't tell ya' if the weight is coming off because I am afraid of the scale.

See it lies to me. If I move it to one room, it reads one thing. Move it to another room. Totally different weight. And I am not talking about ounces here. I am talking a full 5-8 pounds difference. Now for someone who is training, ok trying to train, for a triathlon and in a local Biggest Loser Competition (BLC), I don't need that type of fluctuating scale. I need accuracy. I need positive reassurance, not taunting numbers. So I just stay the hell away from it!

Last night though I got a bit of reassurance from a friend I hadn't seen in two weeks. She is our third member of our BLC team. She said she could see it in my waist area and in my face that I was losing weight. She said my face didn't look as round. Shit... I didn't realize I had a moon pie face to begin with. Apparently my cheeks round out when I am a bit on the chubby side. The point: someone noticed all my efforts.

That is a reward all by itself. I won't lie. I need the reassurance. I can't see the difference. I CAN feel the difference. My wobbly bits are a bit less wobbly. My endurance is better. I can get through more of the cardio-kickboxing without a break. But I need/want to SEE the results. I want to start to look like my kickboxing instructor...ok that might be a far stretch but I want to look better not just feel better.

Maybe I need to take a before picture and then I can compare it to an after picture. That might really help to "show" me the changes that are taking place. I have the numbers they gave me when they did my initial weigh in, but I am not crazy about those numbers. So I am kinda ignoring them.  The running further and lasting longer is helping but I need more motivation. I need to experience greater results. I think I am going to set up a workout/training schedule. That might get me where I need to go... trained for this triathlon.

How do you notice changes in weight loss in your body? What helps to motivate you when you are trying to achieve a goal? Any training tips or workouts you would like to share would be great.

There are two of us training for the triathlon sprint this summer, and we are also going to cram in a half-marathon. I think. I might be overambitious with that one.

Any help or info welcomed!

Money 101

Warning....the following post is going to sound a lot like a bitch session. Language can will be slightly foul.

So if you've read my last post, Lessons in Fiscal Responsibility, you will know where this is coming from. Without having to recap to much of that post, I am teaching trying to teach my daughter some financial responsibility. That said, apparently I should keep my day job because I am failing epically. Oh shit wait! I am a teacher by trade, so what does that tell me? 

Anywho, let's pick up where that post left off. Her January cell phone bill posts to my account. Now remember we are living overseas. Her cell plan isn't half of what we had in the states and it costs about the same as one of the higher end plans by Verizon. There is NO unlimited texting to all cell phones, only to those in your same carrier. There is NO unlimited calling except to those in your same carrier. There are also charges per call for calling land lines. Of course as with any cell plan, go over your allotments and get raped on charges. Truthfully it's a shitty plan, but it's what they have here and it's what she agreed to. Wait! Did I mention that you don't get a paper bill, going green bullshit, and I can't get them to update my email so that I can get the emailed bills? Also, in Germany when you sign for these contracts they automatically deduct the payment from your account. Yea... it's friggin' awsome! So back to the story... the bill posts my account. $262 DOLLARS. Yup big text and all. I too choked when I saw it. Her bill is usually around the $100 range. I was like WTF??? FUMING! So I try not to flip shit on her and simply asked her what the hell happened? She was wide eyed and flabbergasted at the amount. Not to mention that she knows how much she already owes me. We'll get to that later! So I ask her "what the hell are you doing with your cell phone that you are racking up charges in the amount of $262 dollars?" Of course.... as you expected, she has no idea. Actually she thinks it's my cell phone that racked up those charges. So I call the cell carrier and confirm that indeed it's hers. So what now?

Well I'm pissed! To add insult to injury she walked in the other with $30 yoga pants and a new shirt. WTF?!?! I asked her where she got them from... so-and-so bought them for me. Really???? REALLLY???!!! Oh my dear! I am ready to strangle her! So I took a more logical approach. I need to teach a lesson...lesson...lesson...lesson. I keep repeating it because it keeps me from smacking her upside her head, and at 16 that approach is not very effective. So I repeat...lesson...lesson...lesson.

The lesson in money management. That is the lesson. 

I go to my handy dandy Xcel and create an invoice. Oh did I fail to mention she has been friggin' going haywire with her iTunes purchases as well? Yup that too is accumulating. So I create a very official business-like invoice. I included Decembers cell bill, all the iTunes that she has purchased since the cell phone bill posted in late December and then added her January cell bill. Here is the lesson part. Wait for it...wait for it. Late charges!!! Hey if this were a real cell phone bill, they would have cut it off already. Since I can't do that and not have a boat load of penalties, this is the next best thing. 

I added a 2% interest charge to all of December charges which are now past due. Granted it was only three bucks but it's the point. If you are going to play with the adults then you play by the adult rules. 

I haven't sat down and explained the invoice to her, but I will. My husband, who is in other parts, agreed with this plan. Now let's see if we can get it to work. Maybe the fact that she owes $472 between two cell phone bills and iTunes is enough to jar her ass back to reality. Maybe she pick up more shifts at her work to pay it off. I may go down and still take the money from her account. Am I relieving her of the responsibility of paying her bill? She is still "out" the money, but if I get it myself then she didn't really pay it. I don't know. I am confused and talking in damned circles. I just need her to understand that financial responsibilities should not be taken lightly. Ever. 

It's frustrating as hell, and I hate being the bitch. However, I feel like if I don't do it now she may never understand what it is to live within your means. I love her to pieces and being the only girl she really is my princess. But I have to do right by her and this feels like tough love. Am I wrong? Am I doing the right thing? Comments and suggestions are always welcomed. 

Just the two of us

The past couple of days I had the opportunity to spend some quality time with my hubby, just the two of us. From Sunday through Thursday I was a traveling woman, doing the "us" thing in two European cities.  Yup... I'm a lucky girl!

Although hubby finds himself in a less than hospitable environment, he had the opportunity to leave it for a week and go on business elsewhere. Of course when I got the "hey wanna meet me in London & Brussels for a few days" call, I jumped on the first flight there. It didn't take me long to find a flight, and make arrangements for the kids to stay with friends. Look Ma' no kids time.

See we missed our anniversary due to this deployment and so was to be our getaway. After all, we deserve it and after being together for 12+ years, we still enjoy each other's company and that is ALWAYS something to be thankful of in this disposable Kardashian marriage era. Actually as of today I have been married 56.13 Kardashians which is HUGE! So I got my Ryan Air tickets (Euro Southwest), and I was up up and away!

London was fabulous! It was both our first times there and we walked our feet and legs down to nubs. We saw all the sites and walked what felt like the entire city. The best part? Just being with my best friend and enjoying the company of us. I love my kids, I do, however there is so much to be said about just being with your spouse in the quiet company of a walk down the Thames. I enjoyed OUR time together.

We took pictures, talked, rode the tube, had beer and food and just spent time together with no interruptions, no worries, no kids to pick up or feed, no homework to get done. Brussels was another nice city, and although I didn't enjoy it as much as London, we still enjoyed the "us" time together.

We even got to be silly together. We have this relatively new tradition thanks to iphoneography and the Other Guys movie: the faceback picture.  I am a fairly new convert to Apple....although my hubby now says I am an Apple wh*re, I just came into my Apple-ness. iPhones have the marvelous feature of taking your own photo while being able to look at the screen and see yourself. So we took loads of faceback shots in front of many different monuments, sites and random places. It's our thing now since we have been traveling Europe so much. We have an "our thing" and that made the time together that much more special.

I love my husband, and what's even better is that I enjoy his company and I LIKE him. I miss him when he is gone and sometimes he drives me bonkers when he is here. No matter what I am grateful that I was able to spend this very special time with him which only served to strengthen our bond. He is my best friend and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Snowman Down

So I have a small obsession with snowmen. I love them! They are happy, smiling, and completely content with being round and plump! You can't be unhappy when you see a snowman, and unlike Santas there is no expectations of presents. You think happiness, hot chocolate and a good snowfall. What's not to love about that?  Good news is that you don't find them year round so I only have to be immersed in my obsession for 3+ months out of the year. That's not to say I don't miss my jolly snowmen in the off season.

So of course when November rolls around, my snowmen start doing their Sugar Plum Fairy dance and parade around the house making their seasonal debut. Of course the theme of winter is snowmen everywhere, and my house looks like the pit stop for all passing snowmen. I have short ones, tall ones, ceramic ones, glass ones. I have nesting snowmen from Russia.

 I have snowmen that are bells. (Does that make him a bellmen?) I have Polish pottery snowmen. I have snowmen that sing and dance. They light up and sparkle. There are a chain of snowmen that sit vigil in front of the TV. I have a parade of snowmen that Welcome you to my home. And others that wish you a happy wintertime in German.

They hang on my tree. They burn incense and pretend to be smoking. They decorate my mugs and kitchen dish towels. They hold candy, cookies and pictures. I can make snowmen cookies and muffins and serve them up on snowmen plates and platters. They even hold my poinsettias. Yes, I am in full addiction mode.

My kids think its funny to torture mom and switch up the snowmen. They put them in weird and compromising positions (I have a 16yo). They change my nesting snowmen and put different heads on different bodies. Sometimes its funny, and sometimes its infuriating.  This picture was disturbing, even the snowmen looked appalled at this behavior. The fact that they are smoker snowmen might have something to do with that too.

And well my husband, he is a tolerant man and makes sure the kids don't break my snowmen during their creative shenanigans. Not to mention he likes to buy me snowmen which in turn feeds my obsession.

So the other day I am casually walking to the bathroom and I pass our small telephone table with a keys basket sitting on it. Of course there was snowman perched on that table, duh! Well my hand caught the snowman's arch, ring, whatever you call it (look at his picture and you'll the see the ring) and oops. I tried to save him but down he went on our tiled floor and KAPUT! That was the end of him. Death of a snowman. He had been with me for about 7 years, maybe more, and I will miss him. The funny thing is... I think he was ready to go. He looked peaceful and was actually smiling when I swept him up in the dustpan. He looked like he was ready to head on to his next adventure....where ever that might be. So here I post a memorial to that silly little snowman who even when I swept him up and tossed his remains in the trash, he still brought a smile to my face.

Happy Daze

Today could be any other day of the year, but its special to me. Today marks the 11th anniversary of my wedding to a wonderful man. I don't even know where to start to describe him. I could describe his physical characteristics, but that isn't why I married him. I could describe his tenacity, which is truly why I dated him and fell in love with him in the first place. Like a bull in a china shop, he barged into my life when I was at the height of complications. A failed marriage, messy divorce, 3 year old daughter, university requirements to finish, a full-time job and walls around my heart that would take him years to scale.

I could sit here and describe all the things that he did to break down my walls and give me a sense of security within my marriage. I could describe his love, and the unconditional love he has for our children: his, mine and ours. I could tell you how stubborn he is and how he is loyal to a fault. I could tell you how intelligent and well read he is, and how he plans for the days when are retired and growing old together. He cooks. He cleans. He does laundry. He is passionate about his job, and takes the success and failures of his men personally. All these things make him great and make our marriage work. But the greatest gift he has given me is acceptance. The ability to be myself and know that no matter what he still loves me. This belief in me, in us, instills such a sense of peace, stability, and confidence, that it is now the grout the holds our foundation in place. There is no greater breaker of barriers than the gift of unconditional love & acceptance.

So eleven years later I just want to say that my marriage is better than it was December 30, 2000. I love him more now than I thought possible, and the foundation we laid has held up under the weight of pretty heavy burdens throughout the years. He has made me a better person, and I have grown immensely as a mother, woman and wife during these eleven years.

On this day when we are supposed to celebrate the gift of us, we are miles apart. But its ok, and I am at peace with knowing that no matter how far apart we are I still feel his love around me. Thank you for wonderful life, Babe! I think of so many songs that could describe what I feel but we have a song...our Hawaii song: Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

So tonight, I sit here and listen to our song. Happy anniversary Babe and I will see you in 92 days.

The Battle of the Bulge

It's not everyday that you get to walk the same area of the largest battle fought by Americans during WWII. It's not everyday that you get to see hundreds of people come out and reenact the heroism that took place in that small town in Belgium. I got to experience this first hand the weekend of December 10th, and it was amazing! We (hubby and I) took our son on a Scouting adventure and stayed in a wonderfully renovated train station in Luxembourg. We walked the area of the battlefield and saw cars, guns, people dressed up as if it was still 1944. The small town of Bastogne had been transported back in time and was reliving its struggles along with its huge successes. The best part was the idea that we should commemorate the memory of so many who paid the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of this town and for all of Europe. We had a great time sifting through history and experiencing a sliver of what life may have been like at that time. I know at 10 my son has no clue what he was privileged to see that weekend. I can only hope that he one day looks back and remembers fondly that when he was 10 mom and dad took me to see Bastogne.

*The pictures below were taken using my iPhone and a special app that allows me to take 'vintage' type photos. Love this app! Hipstamatic - if you're wondering.

True Lies

Great movie! Never really thought of the meaning of the title and its implications until now. Now as in just the last few days, when the truth seemed like such a foreign concept to my teenager. Because of the nature of the internet and really still believing in the ideals of privacy and my eternal right to it, in total contradiction to my blogging, I will limit the details and go for the feelings. Ahh isn't that what this blogging is about anyways? Feelings...nothing more than feelings.
 My emotions get the best of me. They always do.  There is pain in a lie. There is pain the purposeful deception by those we love. I think there is more heartache and pain when that deception and lying comes from your child. My daughter attempted to lie to me to spare my feelings and to spare an argument. Yes two separate lies, two separate occasions, not the first time. Not wanting to hurt someone, commendable. Not wanting to start or pick a fight, great! I get it. Lying, deceiving and omitting the truth, not the best ways to go about it. How did I handle it? Well I did what all people do with hurt feelings, I festered. I festered in the ideas of whether I was raising a child who would rather lie than deal with the painful truth. I festered in the notion that she was honest with her father, who isn't present daily and not with me; the one here everyday, through thick and thin. I festered in the raw emotion of raising a teenage girl.  Each lie takes on a life of its own, requiring more lies to hide it and spreading to more people to preserve it. Most lies have an exit, a way to out itself and do the least amount of damage, and yet my daughter never took the out. She preserved the integrity of the lie and perpetuated it to her own physical detriment. The lie was outed and the argument was bigger than it needed to be. It always is.
My take away, my lesson to my child, to my blossoming young adult is the following:

   You choose to lie to those you love, a conscious decision. You choose to be deceptive when you lie. Whether by omission or commission you are still practicing to deceive. A lie requires work and more lies to keep it hidden. A lie is a seed that needs to tended to and watched, helped along. She justified her lies in trying to spare me the pain of the truth. I can't say there isn't pain in the truth, but there is more pain in knowing that someone didn't think you worthy of that truth or their honesty.

  I would like to believe that I raised her better, that I instilled a sense of honor and integrity in my child, but then I realized that I am still raising her, job not yet finished, my teen not quite yet done. Teens are governed by laws that are foreign to the rest of the world which don't make sense even in the teen world. Examining how I raised her led me to look at what example I set for her. Oh the hardest of truths and the easiest of lies: the ones we tell ourselves. I set the example for this behavior she used on me. Funny how the lessons we teach by our own behavior are the ones that bite us in the ass later. I have lied on occasions to spare her hide with her dads. I have omitted the truth to not disillusion them about Daddy's Little Girl. I have lied by writing her a late pass when she was late to her 1st period Algebra II teacher. I have lied by allowing her to stay home when she was only sorta sick. I taught her that sometimes the truth is bendable depending on the situation. I gave her a homegrown lesson in selective veracity. She learned well what I taught when I thought she wasn't paying attention. She learned that the sometimes in order to conform to fact, you must express what is false: True Lies.