Kmama over at The Daily Dribbles has a section titled Thank You Very Much where she sarcastically thanks the things that have pissed her off. Since I am having a craptabulous week (yea, I know its only Tuesday) I thought I would share in her thanksgiving spirit. So here it goes...
To the Proctologist Drivers (you know who you are) I appreciate the fact that your schedule is always more important than everyone else's, but riding my ass down a two lane highway isn't going to encourage me to go faster. I will go as fast or as slow as I want regardless of your proximity to my rear, Thank You Very Much!
To my wonderful, loving body. We have been working hard at exercising, eating great healthy foods, drinking plenty of water and making sure to get at least 6 hrs of sleep a night. How do you repay me? You pick up one of the worst head & chest colds ever. Thank You Very Much!
To the Internal Revenue Service and the ghosts of Congresses past, a hearty Thank You Very Much for making the tax code so g-damned difficult it requires a PhD (Piled higher and Deeper) to file your taxes. I have received a piece of tax information in the mail everyday since January 25 and I am afraid I am still not done. And you wonder why people wait until the very last minute to file? It takes MONTHS to get all the damned paperwork! The tax code is so difficult in order to keep more assholes in a job! Thanks again!
To Intellectual Property and Broadcasting laws/lawyers all around the globe, Thank You Very Much! I truly get and understand the ideals and principals behind intellectual property, and I support it. However, as an American living abroad, I am missing out on shows, news and other media information simply because I don't have a stateside IP. I wasn't feeling isolated enough, now throw in some copyright laws, and GEMA (whoever the hell that is), and I can't see a damned thing online. Watched the SuperBowl online through NBC, but they cut out the commercials and half-time show. Really? A double thanks for that!
I am sure there is plenty more to be grateful about, but its only Tuesday. I should save some venom for the rest of the week! ;)
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Banning the word "sure"
In my house we don't use the word whatever. It's rude, dismissive, and shows complete indifference towards the person and the matter being discussed. It is basically the nicest way to tell someone to f*ck off without that foulness of using the F-word. For the obvious reasons, I don't let my kids use whatever when speaking. (They can't use the F-word either, in case you were wondering.)
I have smart kids though.
In the game of words they have found the perfect pinch hitter that subs in quite nicely for whatever.
Sure.
Now you might be thinking its a stretch. But the manner in which my 10 year and 16 year employ sure make it a half-sister to whatever.
For example:
(Notice that whatever could be interchanged in these examples.)
Mom: "Do you want meat loaf for dinner?"
Bear: "Sure."
Mom: "Would you rather have chicken?"
Bear: "Sure."
Mom: "What about shit-kabobs?"
Bear: "Sure. Wait, what?"
Mom: "That's what I thought."
Mom: "Princess, you have laundry to get done. Are you going to do it?"
Princess: "Sure, Mom."
Mom" "Gonna clean your room and your bathroom, too?
Princess: "Sure, Mom."
Seems like I am nit picking? Maybe a little bit. However, when every time I want to get their opinion on something I have to think about the question and phrase it properly so that there is no way to elicit a sure response, word-smithing can be exhausting.
The word doesn't get to me as much as the dismissive attitude behind it.
But that's just kids being kids, right?
Don't say sure.
I have smart kids though.
In the game of words they have found the perfect pinch hitter that subs in quite nicely for whatever.
Sure.
Now you might be thinking its a stretch. But the manner in which my 10 year and 16 year employ sure make it a half-sister to whatever.
For example:
(Notice that whatever could be interchanged in these examples.)
Mom: "Do you want meat loaf for dinner?"
Bear: "Sure."
Mom: "Would you rather have chicken?"
Bear: "Sure."
Mom: "What about shit-kabobs?"
Bear: "Sure. Wait, what?"
Mom: "That's what I thought."
Mom: "Princess, you have laundry to get done. Are you going to do it?"
Princess: "Sure, Mom."
Mom" "Gonna clean your room and your bathroom, too?
Princess: "Sure, Mom."
Seems like I am nit picking? Maybe a little bit. However, when every time I want to get their opinion on something I have to think about the question and phrase it properly so that there is no way to elicit a sure response, word-smithing can be exhausting.
The word doesn't get to me as much as the dismissive attitude behind it.
But that's just kids being kids, right?
Don't say sure.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Rearing Ugliness
Rough afternoon with Bear yesterday. He accused me of never having such an intense interest in his "school stuff" before this year. He told me that my "nose was always in his business". He implied it was because I'm not working. He also told me that he only goes to Scouts because I will make him feel guilty if he doesn't. Really? WTF??? I wish I could say that I am angry, but I am more heart broken than anything. I pride myself in being a good mommy! Maybe not 100% of the time, but 95% is still an A. And after all that I been through with Bear and all that we have worked to achieve it was a slap in the face. Yea so let's see....
1. You were no walk in the park Bear! Your success now is largely dependent on all the hard work we put in those first 8 years. Yea and I was present for those as well!
2. My nose wouldn't have to be in Bear's business if he wasn't constantly misplacing homework. He did a book report on Monday that wasn't due until Wednesday. GREAT JOB! He was supposed to turn it in on Tuesday. Monday night the book report goes into the backpack. Tuesday afternoon- it's been stolen. REALLY? Who want to steal a book report Bear??? Those people that don't like him! OMG! More drama than on TNT! So now we are back to re-doing the book report. Lovely. As if it wasn't agony the first time he worked on it. Let's go for round 2 of that heavyweight fight.
3. Scouts is for me? Since when? I mean don't get me wrong, I love the fact that he is in Scouts but I get nothing out of it other than pride at seeing him accomplish something. That and he looks adorable in his uniform and the outings here in Europe are pretty badass. We went to Bastogne for crying out loud!. I just want him to have something that he can be proud of and carry it with him. Needless to say that he has been in Scouts since 1st grade. Seriously, he could have abandoned it when we got here to Germany but instead we found a Pack and got quite a bit accomplished. He will be receiving his Arrow of Light which is the highest achievement you can receive in Cub Scouts. But somehow that is inspired by guilt....sheeesshhhh DRAAAMMMAA KING!
4. He should be grateful that I am actively involved. Many parents don't give two craps about their kids. I know... I taught many a child who's parents were absent, AT BEST. My parents never toted me around to Scouts, swim lessons, movies, and whatever else I wanted to do. My parents did NOT give me a gaming system, hell I didn't have my own radio until I was 15. Ugghh... to be so lucky as to have parents who want to be parents!
5. He complained in 3rd and 4th grade because I had to work and couldn't be like the other moms (SAHMs) who go on field trips and bake cupcakes. Guess what buddy? I am that mom now and you don't want her now! Make up your mind.
So how did I resolve the issue? I do what I always do....got angry, cried, and told him that I couldn't care more about school then he did. That I couldn't care about scouts more than he did. That if he didn't want it so be it. He responded with "you said I couldn't still live here and drop out of school". WTF? Oh yea...he wants to drop out of school. He hates it that much. He has begged me to home school him. But he doesn't know that I would fail us both in math! :(
So today I resolved to make him finish what he started. No easy way out for you Buster Bear! You are finishing Cub Scouts and you'll get it completed, if it kills me. And it just might...
How does one raise a wanna be Drama King Drop Out Boy?
HELP!!!!!
1. You were no walk in the park Bear! Your success now is largely dependent on all the hard work we put in those first 8 years. Yea and I was present for those as well!
2. My nose wouldn't have to be in Bear's business if he wasn't constantly misplacing homework. He did a book report on Monday that wasn't due until Wednesday. GREAT JOB! He was supposed to turn it in on Tuesday. Monday night the book report goes into the backpack. Tuesday afternoon- it's been stolen. REALLY? Who want to steal a book report Bear??? Those people that don't like him! OMG! More drama than on TNT! So now we are back to re-doing the book report. Lovely. As if it wasn't agony the first time he worked on it. Let's go for round 2 of that heavyweight fight.
3. Scouts is for me? Since when? I mean don't get me wrong, I love the fact that he is in Scouts but I get nothing out of it other than pride at seeing him accomplish something. That and he looks adorable in his uniform and the outings here in Europe are pretty badass. We went to Bastogne for crying out loud!. I just want him to have something that he can be proud of and carry it with him. Needless to say that he has been in Scouts since 1st grade. Seriously, he could have abandoned it when we got here to Germany but instead we found a Pack and got quite a bit accomplished. He will be receiving his Arrow of Light which is the highest achievement you can receive in Cub Scouts. But somehow that is inspired by guilt....sheeesshhhh DRAAAMMMAA KING!
4. He should be grateful that I am actively involved. Many parents don't give two craps about their kids. I know... I taught many a child who's parents were absent, AT BEST. My parents never toted me around to Scouts, swim lessons, movies, and whatever else I wanted to do. My parents did NOT give me a gaming system, hell I didn't have my own radio until I was 15. Ugghh... to be so lucky as to have parents who want to be parents!
5. He complained in 3rd and 4th grade because I had to work and couldn't be like the other moms (SAHMs) who go on field trips and bake cupcakes. Guess what buddy? I am that mom now and you don't want her now! Make up your mind.
So how did I resolve the issue? I do what I always do....got angry, cried, and told him that I couldn't care more about school then he did. That I couldn't care about scouts more than he did. That if he didn't want it so be it. He responded with "you said I couldn't still live here and drop out of school". WTF? Oh yea...he wants to drop out of school. He hates it that much. He has begged me to home school him. But he doesn't know that I would fail us both in math! :(
So today I resolved to make him finish what he started. No easy way out for you Buster Bear! You are finishing Cub Scouts and you'll get it completed, if it kills me. And it just might...
How does one raise a wanna be Drama King Drop Out Boy?
HELP!!!!!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
It's Okay in Deutschland
Today I am linking up with the WhisperingWriter at Airing My Dirt Laundry, One Sock at a Time for "Hey, It's Okay Tuesday (or any day)." It's a hilarious blog and great fun to read! So today I am going to join her in listing the things that I am Okay with being Okay with. Okay?
-----------------------
Hey It's okay...
...that my house isn't 100% spotless. No one notices but me anyways.
...that I bought 4 different laundry detergents to get my laundry to smell like my friend Jill's laundry. See my son stayed over at her house for 4 days and loved the way his laundry smelled. So he asked me to get his laundry to smell "like Ms. Jill's does". Thanks Jill!
...that I miss my husband like crazy! I even miss him constantly groping and grabbing me, because that would mean that he was actually here.
....that I miss my DirecTv and DVR. I haven't watched real TV since we got here in July, and I miss American TV dammit!
...that I worked out for 140 minutes tonight only to top it off with a Popeye's biscuit. Seriously, who puts a Popeye's across the street from the gym? Only the Air Force.
...that I have grey hairs that my children think is hilarious to pluck out, and I let them. Vanity much?
...that I talked to my parents more now as a result of distance and Voxer than I ever did when we lived stateside. Feeling like a crappy daughter these days.
...that I miss my friends, my old job and my old house. I feel like a stranger in a strange land except I have my family and things with me. Wait doesn't that make it home now?
...that I was invited to attend a birthday party at the pub that I work at. The kicker is that I am working that night, so isn't attendance mandatory? Should I even RSVP?
...that I have to be in the top three for Bejeweled Blitz every week, and I work to make sure that I am.
And it's just the first week. ;)
-----------------------
Hey It's okay...
...that my house isn't 100% spotless. No one notices but me anyways.
...that I bought 4 different laundry detergents to get my laundry to smell like my friend Jill's laundry. See my son stayed over at her house for 4 days and loved the way his laundry smelled. So he asked me to get his laundry to smell "like Ms. Jill's does". Thanks Jill!
...that I miss my husband like crazy! I even miss him constantly groping and grabbing me, because that would mean that he was actually here.
....that I miss my DirecTv and DVR. I haven't watched real TV since we got here in July, and I miss American TV dammit!
...that I worked out for 140 minutes tonight only to top it off with a Popeye's biscuit. Seriously, who puts a Popeye's across the street from the gym? Only the Air Force.
...that I have grey hairs that my children think is hilarious to pluck out, and I let them. Vanity much?
...that I talked to my parents more now as a result of distance and Voxer than I ever did when we lived stateside. Feeling like a crappy daughter these days.
...that I miss my friends, my old job and my old house. I feel like a stranger in a strange land except I have my family and things with me. Wait doesn't that make it home now?
...that I was invited to attend a birthday party at the pub that I work at. The kicker is that I am working that night, so isn't attendance mandatory? Should I even RSVP?
...that I have to be in the top three for Bejeweled Blitz every week, and I work to make sure that I am.
And it's just the first week. ;)
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